THE CHEATER REPORT

Cheater Request

2010-01-20T20:54:00.000-08:00

OMG! I need your help! Jackson showed up at my house last night LATE! And when he was "too tired" to hook up--I checked his stupid phone. There were two calls from an unknown number and I think it's his ex. I hope I'm wrong. Please let me be wrong!!!!

--Melanie

Cheater Incident Report

2010-01-15T10:39:00.001-08:00

CASE: 004

CLIENT: Maggie Halfast

SUBJECT: Aaron Bolster

FINDINGS: At approximately 7 p.m. on January 12th, Mr. Bolster was seen arriving at the Regal Cinemas with an unknown accomplice. The girl was quickly identified as Amber Browerstine--his chem partner. Despite the clicheness of it, their relationship seemed obvious when Mr. Bolster held the door and then purchased her Twizzlers at the concession stand.

Enclosed are the photos documenting their time together. You'll notice in frame 62 that Mr. Bolster and Ms. Browerstine sat in the back row of a horror film. And in photo 64 you'll notice that they were not watching it.

The couple was then seen outside Taco Bell sharing nachos. Included is an audio recording in which Mr. Bolster swears that he is single. He also swears that "tonight will be amazing." You'll observe from photos 68-75 that it was not.

We trust that this report will remain confidential as some of the information contained within could compromise our top-secret status.

SOS is sorry for your loss, and we offer our deepest sympathies. We hope that we will not have to assist you again in the future, but please keep us in mind for referrals.

Keep smiling,

SOS

Cheater Request

2010-01-11T17:14:00.000-08:00

Hey,

I think I saw Maggie Halfast's boyfriend in the McDonald's drive-thru with a blonde last night. I think he's cheating, unless she was really choking on a fry and he was giving her mouth-to-mouth. Good luck!

-Anonymous

Cheater Incident Report

2010-01-09T11:27:00.000-08:00

CASE: 003

CLIENT: Lauren Lane

SUBJECT: Jared Pitcher

FINDINGS: At approximately 9:15 p.m. on January 8th, Mr. Pitcher was observed exiting the Redmond Mall holding hands with an unknown accomplice. Upon further investigation, the girl was identified as Maria Archer. Ms. Archer was carrying a bag from Victoria's Secret.

The couple was then seen going into Ms. Archer's house and staying there for several hours watching The Notebook. Enclosed is the photographic evidence. Please note that picture 49 captures a full-fledged make-out, confirming the cheat.

We trust that this report will remain confidential as some of the information contained within could compromise our top-secret status.

SOS is sorry for your loss, and we offer our deepest sympathies. We hope that we will not have to assist you again in the future, but please keep us in mind for referrals.

Keep smiling,

SOS

Cheater request

2010-01-08T00:12:00.000-08:00

SOS,

My boyfriend, Jared, has been acting totally weird lately. New clothes, new cologne, always checking his phone. I think he's cheating and I bet it's with that skank Maria! She's been trying to get her paws on him for months. I need your help!

-Lauren

THE NAUGHTY LIST

2009-12-01T11:18:00.000-08:00

Updated:

Adler, Josh—caught
Bryant, Michael—under investigation
Bullard, Robert—caught
Chandler, Cash—caught
Dougherty, Phillip—caught
Hanlon, Harley—under investigation
Hanrick, Bradley—caught
Jackson, Cade—caught
Letterman, Noah—under investigation
Mill, Michael—totally caught!
Naples, North—caught
Raffule, Richard—under investigation
Reen, Andrew—caught
Sanders, Sage—caught